Monday, August 24, 2009

Insert "lackofblogtopic" Anxiety Here

I've been willing myself since...err...last week, to blog almost every single day just to get into the habit. So far so good. Until today. Today I have no blogging topic. I did not see anything strange/funny/ironic on my way to work today. No one has said anything witty or moronic enough to quote since Friday night. I'm in a generally good mood about work since this morning. Hence the anxiety. In an effort to keep the dialogue going (with all two of you) I'm going to list some things I thought about today. Here goes:

The "Megan Wants A Millionaire Killer" -- how scary! VH1 did a terrible background check on one of the contestants of their reality show this past season and did not notice that he had a previous assault charge. Fast forward months later the man has KILLED his ex-wife, cut off her fingers and forcibly removed her teeth and fled to Canada where he hung himself. This is truly frightening and awful. I thought of a joke about VH1's terrible PR blunder but I can't even go with it -- it really does make you think about all the crazies out there who we continue to give media attention to.

Pants -- I hate pants. I might blog about this in the near future, but for now I'm happily frolicking in skirts and dresses and toasting to summer.

Yeah...those two sum it up I think.

Till tomorrow!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Upper East Side Bar Ode and a Commentary on Dress

This will probably be short. It is an ode to the Upper East Side Bars (UESBs)on a Friday night.

UESBs, why are you so crowded with people my age -- why don't people like to travel 15 minutes to go to a more bearable part of town?

UESBs, why do you always play the same 5 songs no matter what your bar theme is? Sports? Tiki? Irish? You're all listening to Bon Jovi.

UESBs, why do the majority of your patrons like to high-five? I find myself doing it too...maybe it's in the beer...

UESBs, why do your patrons swing insult's like "Your dress looks like it's from Marshalls!"

Here I have to explain: in all fairness my friend after one too many drinks yelled at a girl on the street that she needs to "eat something". Her friend, coming to this poor girl's defense then yelled back, "Just because she's Indian, doesn't make her fat like you." That's racist. She then followed her statement with, "And your dress looks like it's from Marshalls!" Marshalls has some nice stuff. My friend then turned around, stuck her middle finger in the air, and yelled "Target, motherf**ker!" and proceeded to bump into a man walking in front of her right as she finished yelling. IT was amazing.

I guess since the UESB's produced such a moment, as the one that I described above, I should go easy on them.

Okay Upper East Side Bars, I forgive you. I will probably frequent your beer-stenched walls sometime in the near future.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

You think you've seen it all...

(photo courtesy of Eyeteeth blog)

I am privileged to work in a very illuminating and exciting part of town which allows me access to the zainiest of characters on both my lunch breaks and after-work romps. Especially in the summer, New York becomes a haven for all sorts of loonies, weirdos and deviants. I like to call them friends.

Yesterday, on a particularly hot and sticky August day, walking slowly and lethargically from work I encountered this guy. This perfectly strange sight that only received a few passing glances. It was a man dressed in shorts and a tee wearing a Boba Fett helmet and playing the accordion. Boba Fett as in Star Wars (for those who are not in the know that Star Wars is one of the greatest movies of all time).

I was both giddy and alarmed to see this. Giddy because only in New York could this guy be part of the natural surroundings of your walk home. Alarmed because it was REALLY hot! It must have been 1,000 degrees in that helmet.

Anyway, since the sighting, I've talked to a few people and apparently others have noticed this guy - as can be seen by the blog from which I took this picture from. Also I guess he was interviewed for Time Out New York.

Rock on Boba.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I was going to eat that!

Someone stole my sandwich. Someone in the office stole my lunch today. How bizarre! Every once in a while a friend of mine or colleague complains that this happens to them, but I could never believe that someone who is either making the same amount of money as me or more would want to steal my food. Why not make your own sandwich? If you feel jealous of my fixins' why not order the same thing at the deli ACROSS THE STREET? And besides all this, why would you want to eat something that was not made by you. You don't know me from Joe! What if I like to sprinkle my Turkey with dirt? Or add a nice thick layer of spit between the lettuce and tomato? You just don't know! How creepy and violating. Today was also the first day of my save-more-money regime and now it is ruined. Just because, I hope my sandwich was extremely unsatisfying (even though I KNOW that it was actually delicious).

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I was on a hiatus...a long one...

It has been a long, long while my nonexistant internet friends. But I am back! In an effort to keep writing and clear the cob webs of my mind, I have resolved to start blogging again. My earlier attempt at keeping focused strictly on my job failed. There is too much floating around in my brain that does not fit under those parameters and I need the space to let it loose. So, let's start again on this beautiful and mysterious journey that is the blogosphere - I promise to be a much more attentive host.