Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Upper East Side Bar Ode and a Commentary on Dress

This will probably be short. It is an ode to the Upper East Side Bars (UESBs)on a Friday night.

UESBs, why are you so crowded with people my age -- why don't people like to travel 15 minutes to go to a more bearable part of town?

UESBs, why do you always play the same 5 songs no matter what your bar theme is? Sports? Tiki? Irish? You're all listening to Bon Jovi.

UESBs, why do the majority of your patrons like to high-five? I find myself doing it too...maybe it's in the beer...

UESBs, why do your patrons swing insult's like "Your dress looks like it's from Marshalls!"

Here I have to explain: in all fairness my friend after one too many drinks yelled at a girl on the street that she needs to "eat something". Her friend, coming to this poor girl's defense then yelled back, "Just because she's Indian, doesn't make her fat like you." That's racist. She then followed her statement with, "And your dress looks like it's from Marshalls!" Marshalls has some nice stuff. My friend then turned around, stuck her middle finger in the air, and yelled "Target, motherf**ker!" and proceeded to bump into a man walking in front of her right as she finished yelling. IT was amazing.

I guess since the UESB's produced such a moment, as the one that I described above, I should go easy on them.

Okay Upper East Side Bars, I forgive you. I will probably frequent your beer-stenched walls sometime in the near future.

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