The Upper East Side Bar Ode and a Commentary on Dress

This will probably be short. It is an ode to the Upper East Side Bars (UESBs)on a Friday night.

UESBs, why are you so crowded with people my age -- why don't people like to travel 15 minutes to go to a more bearable part of town?

UESBs, why do you always play the same 5 songs no matter what your bar theme is? Sports? Tiki? Irish? You're all listening to Bon Jovi.

UESBs, why do the majority of your patrons like to high-five? I find myself doing it too...maybe it's in the beer...

UESBs, why do your patrons swing insult's like "Your dress looks like it's from Marshalls!"

Here I have to explain: in all fairness my friend after one too many drinks yelled at a girl on the street that she needs to "eat something". Her friend, coming to this poor girl's defense then yelled back, "Just because she's Indian, doesn't make her fat like you." That's racist. She then followed her statement with, "And your dress looks like it's from Marshalls!" Marshalls has some nice stuff. My friend then turned around, stuck her middle finger in the air, and yelled "Target, motherf**ker!" and proceeded to bump into a man walking in front of her right as she finished yelling. IT was amazing.

I guess since the UESB's produced such a moment, as the one that I described above, I should go easy on them.

Okay Upper East Side Bars, I forgive you. I will probably frequent your beer-stenched walls sometime in the near future.

You think you've seen it all...

(photo courtesy of Eyeteeth blog)
http://eyeteeth.blogspot.com/2009/06/boba-fett-accordionist.html

I am privileged to work in a very illuminating and exciting part of town which allows me access to the zainiest of characters on both my lunch breaks and after-work romps. Especially in the summer, New York becomes a haven for all sorts of loonies, weirdos and deviants. I like to call them friends.

Yesterday, on a particularly hot and sticky August day, walking slowly and lethargically from work I encountered this guy. This perfectly strange sight that only received a few passing glances. It was a man dressed in shorts and a tee wearing a Boba Fett helmet and playing the accordion. Boba Fett as in Star Wars (for those who are not in the know that Star Wars is one of the greatest movies of all time).

I was both giddy and alarmed to see this. Giddy because only in New York could this guy be part of the natural surroundings of your walk home. Alarmed because it was REALLY hot! It must have been 1,000 degrees in that helmet.

Anyway, since the sighting, I've talked to a few people and apparently others have noticed this guy - as can be seen by the blog from which I took this picture from. Also I guess he was interviewed for Time Out New York.

Rock on Boba.

I was going to eat that!

Someone stole my sandwich. Someone in the office stole my lunch today. How bizarre! Every once in a while a friend of mine or colleague complains that this happens to them, but I could never believe that someone who is either making the same amount of money as me or more would want to steal my food. Why not make your own sandwich? If you feel jealous of my fixins' why not order the same thing at the deli ACROSS THE STREET? And besides all this, why would you want to eat something that was not made by you. You don't know me from Joe! What if I like to sprinkle my Turkey with dirt? Or add a nice thick layer of spit between the lettuce and tomato? You just don't know! How creepy and violating. Today was also the first day of my save-more-money regime and now it is ruined. Just because, I hope my sandwich was extremely unsatisfying (even though I KNOW that it was actually delicious).

I was on a hiatus...a long one...

It has been a long, long while my nonexistant internet friends. But I am back! In an effort to keep writing and clear the cob webs of my mind, I have resolved to start blogging again. My earlier attempt at keeping focused strictly on my job failed. There is too much floating around in my brain that does not fit under those parameters and I need the space to let it loose. So, let's start again on this beautiful and mysterious journey that is the blogosphere - I promise to be a much more attentive host.

A Question of Etiquette

Ordinarily I am a very friendly person who likes to see people happy. I would gladly do something that might not be very convenient for myself to see a smile on a child's face. I've been known to help feeble old ladies cross the street when they are too scared of the mean New York crosswalk.

Of course, sometimes my patience and sense of samaritan duty is questioned --

Office celebratory occasions.

I'm no Oscar the Grouch. I love a good reason to kick back a glass of "vino" mid-afternoon and substitute Factiva searches for a piece of Buttercup cake. However, when this celebratory brouhaha is also tied to a gift to a person I don't really know, that's when I get a little peeved.

Sure I've seen you in the hallway Cubicle Cathy, but do I really need to feel obligated to spend money on your engagement? You will probably never know that I contributed, and I probably will be too busy to enjoy your surprise fete.

The only reason at all to help out in the gift is to save face in front of the co-worker who is arranging the whole thing. With all the "corporate team" brain-wash that floats around most offices these days, it's hard to look at someone's face and say "Sorry, I rather spend these 10 bucks on Chinese take-out tonight".

I guess I'm wondering if there is a more polite way to say "no".

Stand Up or Bow Down?

image courtesy of Brian Bramer

Starting from the bottom on the rungs of the corporate ladder it is very easy to fall into a habit of letting "bygones be bygones" and eating a plate full of "humble pie" when it comes to managers.

Rather than defend your pride, and scream "No I did NOT triple check the website for updates" if you are like me, the initial reaction is to apologize and say "Oh, sure, let me just check one more time."

This type of behaviour becomes very taxing on the human psyche, especially if you in turn have no one's "balls to bust".

I would like to introduce to the workplace the "corporate punching bag." Take your stress out in the form of healthy physical exercise rather than picking on me, Boss Lady!"

In which I come back from Paradise to Reality...

Vacation.

What.A.Tease.

Just when you start feeling the groove of making your own decisions that do not involve Microsoft Outlook or the crackberry...it is time to go home again.

Just when beautiful views and a cool breeze start substituting a quick cup of coffee as a wake up call...it is time to go home again.

Just when the money starts running out of your pocket because you've been taking cabs instead of taking public transportation like you swore you would...it is time to go home again.